Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Helping others

Having already said that my only regret in all this was not being sufficiently prepared for rejection, I have a real desire to ensure that other people start their search with the benefit of my experience. This came true sooner than I had expected. I noticed a brief message on the family history site recently which had been posted by an adopted man asking for advice on how to trace his birth family. For some reason, I just felt that contacting him was the right thing to do and we struck up an immediate friendship. I sent him an excerpt from this story and was very touched by his reply. Derek said that he had been incredibly moved by what I had written, because right up until now – at 40 years of age – he thought nobody else had the same thoughts, feelings and behaviours as him. As he read my story, he felt that I could actually have been writing about him. He was so relieved to discover that he was a ‘typical’ adoptee with a ‘typical’ adoptee attitude, and this reiterates my earlier statement that only an adoptee truly knows how another adoptee thinks and feels.

Derek was, like me, fortunate in having a supportive family and I was happy to be his ‘search mate’ for want of a better term! I did the actual research and then discussed my findings with him on each step of the way. Sadly, I discovered that his birth mother had already passed away – another scenario for which adoptees are never fully prepared – but through a developing relationship with other members of his birth family, he is now able to learn about his birth mother from them.

44 comments:

  1. 最敏捷的,未必贏得競賽:最強大的,未必贏得戰爭:時間與機會才是主人..............................

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  2. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.............................................

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  3. 以簡單的行為愉悅他人的心靈,勝過千人低頭禱告。........................................

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  4. 幫你加油打氣哦!!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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  5. 被人揭下面具是一種失敗,自己揭下面具卻是種勝利。......................................................

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  6. 婚姻對男人來說是賭他的自由,對女人而言卻是賭她的幸福。..................................................................

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  7. 向著星球長驅直進的人,反比踟躕在峽路上的人,更容易達到目的。............................................................

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  8. 生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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  9. 愛,拆開來是心和受兩個字。用心去接受對方的一切,用心去愛對方的所有。......................................................................

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  10. 聰明的人喜歡猜心 雖然每次都猜對了卻失去了自己的心..................................................... ............

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  11. i started the journey to finding relatives as well and it would mean the world to me if you would check out my website: creatingbonds.weebly.com

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