Siblings

I desperately needed reassurance that I wasn’t the only adoptee to have been rejected in this way, and I remembered that there was an offshoot of Norcap called Rejection Network. I made contact with one of the two ladies who ran the group and, in fact, we have remained friends ever since. I received so much kindness and so many words of support, and I was shocked to discover that there were adoptees who had actually been rejected in a far worse manner than I had been. I was able to discuss contacting my half-siblings with other people who had done the same, and I took plenty of time to construct a suitable letter to send to them. I also wanted Wyn to have the time to tell her children herself. My Norcap counsellor wasn’t permitted to write the letter, but she did check it over for me, as did the co-leader of Rejection Network. That letter was written and rewritten so many times, but was eventually sent off to all three of my half-siblings at the same time, around six weeks after Wyn’s phone call to me.

I felt it important to write to Sally, Rebecca and James at the same time; I realised that Sally and I had more in common with each other, because Rebecca and James were the only full siblings out of the four of us, but I thought that there would appear to be no ‘favouritism’ if they all received the same letter on the same day. I was fairly certain that out of the three, the one most likely to be welcoming would be my older half-sister, Sally. Despite her only being two years old at the time of my birth, there was a slim chance that she might even remember there having been a baby in the house.

I was to be very surprised. I received three different responses – what you might call black, white and grey.